Our Love Affair with Magazines, Strippers, etc.

[Bonecracker]

You really know how to tell a story!

[titzling319]

Bonecracker,

I've started reading your story...so far, so good. What you need are illustrations by Bill Ward.

[Bonecracker]

Bonecracker,

I've started reading your story...so far, so good. What you need are illustrations by Bill Ward.

That would be fantastic!  It isn't easy finding someone to illustrate for just the hell of it.  If it were a commercial venture and content still had value, it might be possible.  But those days are dead. 

Thank you for your kind words! I'll start another one soon.

[titzling319]

2000 Score Fantasy Cruise Day 4: Tuesday, May 2, 2000
It was rainy and drizzly all day. A helicopter hovered for about a half hour videotaping the girls for French TV. I was briefly interviewed by the French crew but had no way of knowing if I made the cut for TV.
Patterns had started to evolve with each girl (well, maybe not Tanya) having her own posse to follow her and do her bidding.
By now, Casey, Maxi (cabin mates) and I were a trio that did almost everything together. Wish I could have been their cabin mate. I suppose that I should be happy that they invited me in a few times (just for laughs, dont you know).
By this time, I had noticed that a few guys were drunk a lot (some of the gals too) but I never had one drink the whole cruise. I saw a couple guys passed out early in the cruise and decided right there, why take a chance on missing anything? I had the rest of my life to drink if I chose to.
Hangin with Linsey I learned that while very friendly, she was the one model whos breasts youd better not touch without permission. Depending on her mood, she might allow it. I also learned we shared a birthday (Aug. 7, 1946 & 1978). I asked my standard birthday question, “How many birthdays does the average person have?” Of course, the answer is “Only one…the rest are just anniversaries”.
Throughout the cruise, Linsey maintained that she had the biggest tits on the cruise though there was plenty of evidence to suggest otherwise. “Those boobs arent real, mine are!”
Using the argument that Id used for years, I said, “Of course those others are real. Theyre not imaginary or cartoons. Ive had many of them in my hands. I understand what youre saying, perhaps ‘not natural would be a better choice of words.”
Linsey told the worst jokes. Thankfully, I cant remember any of them.
That night there was a Bra Fashion Show. A model would be introduced and shed then pick a guy to join her and remove her bra and do a bit of fondling. When Caseys turn came, she was staring at me during the intro but, before she could call on me, Brittany Love jumped up and stole my thunder. While she unhooked Casey, Casey gave me the palms-up, what ya gonna do gesture. Yeah, I was more than a little pissed, especially when Love spent a good long-time massaging and caressing those beauties.
Later, Casey told me that she had not been happy about that outcome either which made me feel much better.

[titzling319]

2000 Score Fantasy Cruise Day 4: Tuesday, May 2, 2000

[Bonecracker]

Bonecracker,

I've started reading your story...so far, so good. What you need are illustrations by Bill Ward.

[b]And don't forget to read the interview with Foxy Menagerie in the special features section! [/b]

[titzling319]

2000 Score Fantasy Cruise Day 5: Wednesday, May 3, 2000
A model shoot put Jessica Justice in copse of trees. She is really a very pretty girl. I took about 30 shots of her.
Later, Casey was situated on a huge rock (I took 93 pics at that shoot, over 300 overall). I discovered Casey & I have same Mavica camera that recorded on floppy disks. One could fit 20 to 25 low resolution images or 5 to 7 high res pics on a single floppy, I, of course opted for hi res but that meant hauling a shit load of floppies. I must have brought 300 with me. Casey asked how big my stick was and I told her to play her cards right and find out. Oh, memory stick for the camera. I hadnt even known that such a thing existed.
After lunch there was an impromptu touch football game on the beach. I always have to laugh at passenger Ray, carrying off the fake handoff as if even one person on the beach was actually looking at him.
Im not sure which day featured “Bras in Paradise” so Ill say it was Wednesday. All the gals lined up on the beach wearing nothing but a bra and a smile.
Just for the hell of it, I had brought an old cloth tailors measuring tape. I used it once, on Maxi (most bang for the buck). Bare boobs measured at the most prominent point (points?), she was 62” around. Maxi said, “That sounds about right. Want to take a squeeze?”
I took some really good photos of Minka & Dawn. When I returned home, I sent Dawn Stone a copy of every good photo I took of her (there were some nice ones). She sold them as a set on her website, never offered any of her sets to me and never thanked me for my trouble. A few months later I saw Maxi in a club in Sarnia, Ontario and mentioned the Dawn situation. Maxi said she wasnt surprised, allowing that Stone had a reputation as a cunt!

[titzling319]

2000 Score Fantasy Cruise Day 5: Wednesday, May 3, 2000

[Bonecracker]

Looks like a grand bit of fun!

[titzling319]

2000 Score Fantasy Cruise Day 6: Thursday, May 4, 2000
Since Day One, every time I got near Minka she would whisper in her deep, sexy voice, “You want fuck me?” Not being racist here…ask anyone, that is exactly how she talks. The first time came about 10 minutes after editor-in-chief John Fox had told us the simple rules in no uncertain terms. This became our little joke and she asked me the same question at least once each day.
Michigan State had won the NCAA Basketball Championship in May so I brought a new MSU tank top I hoped to get some of the models to pose in. Not bad, I got JJ, Maxi & Casey to help me out. 20 years later, I see a few of those MSU images on various sites such as Bing. There is even a company that sells digital jigsaw puzzles that offers one of my Maxi images. I take it as a compliment that my photos are being used.
The island we visited that particular day featured a small coral reef about 20 yards off shore in about 10 feet of water. Late in the day, all had returned to Legacy except Casey and me. I had goggles so we took turns examining the coral. At one point, I noticed a young sea turtle (shell about a foot long). When it saw me, it swam away with amazing speed and was out of sight in seconds.
Casey was standing in waist deep water, buck naked. She never looked better. About 20 yards away, a pair of young couples were in a small silver raft. The two men were staring, speechless, at Caseys magnificence. The women (backs to us) were talking away while the men just stared. The women never did turn around. I said, “Want to give them something to remember?”
It was like she read my mind, “Do it!” I moved behind her, reached around and cupped a massive breast in each hand. I leaned in to kiss her cheek when she turned her head to give me a real kiss. I know it was just an act but Ill remember it forever.
Besides the 15 models and Alps there were hair & makeup artists and a young lady Score apprentice who did most of the scheduling plus one more young girl who was a passenger and pretty much an observer…a pretty, skinny, reddish blond haired Brit named Sarah Foster. I spent some time talking to her over the course of the cruise (rude not to) and she gave me the impression that she might be interested in spending some time together, perhaps on one of the islands away from the group (she evidently wasnt under the same restrictions as the models)…but, she was a chain smoker (I had quit 8 years before) and it disgusted me so I politely said no. I didnt realize until the Score BC issue came out that she actually had had a photo shoot on the cruise and was being groomed as a future feature model. I was even more surprised in 2006 when Score featured a new model, Morgan Leigh, who turned out to be Sarah Foster with delightfully big titties.

[titzling319]

2000 Score Fantasy Cruise Day 7: Friday, May 5, 2000
By Day 7, word had spread around the Caribbean Sea that the big sailing ship Legacy was loaded with naked, big busted women. For some unknown reason, several smaller boats were now following us, some sailors even daring to go ashore when we went ashore.
Over the course of the cruise, I had found a couple guys I became friends with. Johnny Green was from San Francisco. Heir to a sail making dynasty, he was a multiple BCer and Linseys former lover…what a life! Another interesting fellow was a Brit known to all as “T”. He kept a journal on his laptop and eventually became a columnist for Score. Rumor was that he was a dot com millionaire. He certainly lived as if he were. He had moved to Vegas and enjoyed all that city had to offer.
Back onboard The Legacy, the models & passengers united for one last (group) photo session.
Maxi had bitched to the cooks about “fuckin chicken” every day. At dinner, once again on deck, Maxi grabbed my hand then Caseys and pulled us to the dining room. A table was set for three. The head cook came out with three beautiful Porterhouse steaks, baked potatoes and spinach. Squeaky wheel indeed!
Basically, things were winding down and everyone was just enjoying each others company. I made a list of gals Id somewhat neglected and did some damage control chatting and taking some last-minute pics. I had about 300 shots of Casey, many of Linsey, Maxi & Minka but there were others that I only had managed to take 10 to 20 shots of.
I had a last-minute idea: how about passengers ratings of the models. I asked 19 guys to list, in order, their three favorite models strictly from the Boob Cruise experience. I added my own votes (#1. Casey, #2. Maxi, #3. Minka) and was stunned at the results: #1. Lorna (landslide) and a tie for second between Ariana & Donita. As they say, opinions differ, thats what makes a horse race.

[zappfra]

2000 Score Fantasy Cruise Day 5: Wednesday, May 3, 2000
A model shoot put Jessica Justice in copse of trees. She is really a very pretty girl. I took about 30 shots of her.
Later, Casey was situated on a huge rock (I took 93 pics at that shoot, over 300 overall). I discovered Casey & I have same Mavica camera that recorded on floppy disks. One could fit 20 to 25 low resolution images or 5 to 7 high res pics on a single floppy, I, of course opted for hi res but that meant hauling a shit load of floppies. I must have brought 300 with me. Casey asked how big my stick was and I told her to play her cards right and find out. Oh, memory stick for the camera. I hadnt even known that such a thing existed.
After lunch there was an impromptu touch football game on the beach. I always have to laugh at passenger Ray, carrying off the fake handoff as if even one person on the beach was actually looking at him.
Im not sure which day featured “Bras in Paradise” so Ill say it was Wednesday. All the gals lined up on the beach wearing nothing but a bra and a smile.
Just for the hell of it, I had brought an old cloth tailors measuring tape. I used it once, on Maxi (most bang for the buck). Bare boobs measured at the most prominent point (points?), she was 62” around. Maxi said, “That sounds about right. Want to take a squeeze?”
I took some really good photos of Minka & Dawn. When I returned home, I sent Dawn Stone a copy of every good photo I took of her (there were some nice ones). She sold them as a set on her website, never offered any of her sets to me and never thanked me for my trouble. A few months later I saw Maxi in a club in Sarnia, Ontario and mentioned the Dawn situation. Maxi said she wasnt surprised, allowing that Stone had a reputation as a cunt!

Great story telling. I always remember a learned gentleman writing in to Score to say he would not do a Cruise as the fantasy of what he thought the girl's were would diminish, especially if you got a "Dawn" type. It was a good point, but gee to get an oppoprtunity to do a Cruise I knew I just had to do it.  Re the Linday "don't touch my boobs" , Busty Dusty was similar to that on the 95 Cruise.

On my Cruise my thinking of the girl's really did not change much;

Traci Topps - could not have been nicer
Sarenna Lee - Came across a little poshy, but very fun girl, liked a champers
Kimberlee Kupps - very friendly
Dannie Ashe - Could not be a nicer person, just a delight
Angelique - Friendly but language barrier made it hard to chat
Chloe Vevrier - appeared quite shy or aloof, language barrier made i hard to
Busty Dusty - Friendly but kept to her own crew a bit

Was an Eastern European model on Cruise (Was in a Score video), cannot remeber her name, but was a moody SOB, had no time for her.

[titzling319]

Score Fantasy Cruise Day 8: Saturday, May 6, 2000
The Boob Cruise is officially over, some stayed on St. Thomas, the rest of us flew to Miami. A few, including Casey and Maxi, then caught flights to wherever. Lots of hugs and goodbyes…knowing that most of us would probably never see each other again. Twenty years later, the only cruise person Ive ever seen again is Maxi (one time). I did stay in touch with T for several years and still see pics of him living it up in Vegas (always with well-built young ladies).
I had very few pics of Tonya so I asked if I could take a few more. She said “Im off the clock, Buster!” and kept on walking. Well, at least she kept her reputation intact. She wouldnt give me the time of day on the cruise and I really didnt expect more on dry land.
After retrieving my van, I checked in at the Airport Hilton where all the Score folks were staying (6 or 7 models still around). 12 of us commandeered a big table for dinner. Ive always said that one of my best times on the cruise came after the cruise was over. I sat between Linsey and Lorna, had the stone crabs and a wonderful sense of camaraderie with these people who were strangers a week ago but family now.
After dinner, Minka was a huge boobed vision in a red tank top with white shorts while working the lobby. The many businessmen there just stared, too intimidated to approach her and she was SO APPROACHABLE! Eventually she came over to me, took my hand and mashed those wonderful mams against me and said, “You want fuck me now? It OK. Boob Cruise over. I like you and we fuck a long, long time.”
“Are you being serious now?”
“Is $500 serious enough?”
Didnt do it…just didnt seem prudent at the time. Sure, Ive often regretted passing up the chance to have sex with an honest-to-go superstar, but I figured that I would have been very happy or very bummed out..,50/50. After all, it was a Fantasy Cruise and I was happy to leave it at that. Being absolutely truthful about past experiences, Ive rarely found a really BIG busted woman that was great in the sack. The smaller girls just seem to try harder.
The gals went to Miami clubs for the evening. I ended up at the bar with a couple photographers who had great stories to tell.
By the time I got moving on Sunday, the models had all gone to Miami to shop. I hated to leave and finally admit to myself that the whole thing had come to an end. I would have gone to a Marlins game but they were out of town so I really had nothing else to do but drive north.
I drove down A1A to see the beach in Fort Lauderdale just for old times sake. Id had some great times there in the sixties and seventies.
My next stop was Aiken, S.C. to spend a few days with my sister. She was not impressed with my photos of nude women. Spoil sport!

[titzling319]

Score Fantasy Cruise: Passenger Picks!

[zappfra]

Score Fantasy Cruise Day 8: Saturday, May 6, 2000
The Boob Cruise is officially over, some stayed on St. Thomas, the rest of us flew to Miami. A few, including Casey and Maxi, then caught flights to wherever. Lots of hugs and goodbyes…knowing that most of us would probably never see each other again. Twenty years later, the only cruise person Ive ever seen again is Maxi (one time). I did stay in touch with T for several years and still see pics of him living it up in Vegas (always with well-built young ladies).
I had very few pics of Tonya so I asked if I could take a few more. She said “Im off the clock, Buster!” and kept on walking. Well, at least she kept her reputation intact. She wouldnt give me the time of day on the cruise and I really didnt expect more on dry land.
After retrieving my van, I checked in at the Airport Hilton where all the Score folks were staying (6 or 7 models still around). 12 of us commandeered a big table for dinner. Ive always said that one of my best times on the cruise came after the cruise was over. I sat between Linsey and Lorna, had the stone crabs and a wonderful sense of camaraderie with these people who were strangers a week ago but family now.
After dinner, Minka was a huge boobed vision in a red tank top with white shorts while working the lobby. The many businessmen there just stared, too intimidated to approach her and she was SO APPROACHABLE! Eventually she came over to me, took my hand and mashed those wonderful mams against me and said, “You want fuck me now? It OK. Boob Cruise over. I like you and we fuck a long, long time.”
“Are you being serious now?”
“Is $500 serious enough?”
Didnt do it…just didnt seem prudent at the time. Sure, Ive often regretted passing up the chance to have sex with an honest-to-go superstar, but I figured that I would have been very happy or very bummed out..,50/50. After all, it was a Fantasy Cruise and I was happy to leave it at that. Being absolutely truthful about past experiences, Ive rarely found a really BIG busted woman that was great in the sack. The smaller girls just seem to try harder.
The gals went to Miami clubs for the evening. I ended up at the bar with a couple photographers who had great stories to tell.
By the time I got moving on Sunday, the models had all gone to Miami to shop. I hated to leave and finally admit to myself that the whole thing had come to an end. I would have gone to a Marlins game but they were out of town so I really had nothing else to do but drive north.
I drove down A1A to see the beach in Fort Lauderdale just for old times sake. Id had some great times there in the sixties and seventies.
My next stop was Aiken, S.C. to spend a few days with my sister. She was not impressed with my photos of nude women. Spoil sport!

Remind me who Tonya is again ? . Does not sound nice at all

[titzling319]

zappfra,

See post #105. Tanya Danielle.

[titzling319]

Last fling in Saugatuck, Labor Day Weekend, 1979. I asked this young hardbody to dance at the Crow Bar. Short red hair, freckles and a killer smile. Absolutely gorgeous, perfect tits…not huge but very nice. Norma had finished high school in Holland, Mich. earlier that year and was off to Army Boot Camp in two weeks.
We had a remarkable 3-day sex-filled romp at the Ship & Shore hotel. Damn, she was good. Even though I was 15 years older we were very compatible. I had learned a new position that we used all weekend (and I wish I had known years earlier). The woman sits about half her ass on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide. On his knees, the man just slides into her. They may then screw leisurely, neither partner bearing any load and hands free to caress, etc.
On Monday afternoon we said goodbye. I wish wed kept in contact…she was a lot of fun. Little did I know that I would not return to the village of Saugatuck until 39 years had passed. I half expected Norma to be sitting at the bar, waiting for me. Nah.

[zappfra]

zappfra,

See post #105. Tanya Danielle.

Thanks the Tanya/Tonya confused me (not hard   )

Re above post : How many times do you look back and think at the time you did the right thing to cut ties or move on, but regret it later.

[titzling319]

zappfra,

It took a long time to learn but later in life I finally realized that breakups usually happened for good reasons. The few times I rekindled an old romance, it didn't take long for me to say to myself, "Now I remember why we split." The exceptions being when I was given my walking papers when I wanted to keep going (Sally L. in post #58).

[titzling319]

2010 Beshine
The first picture I ever saw of Beshine fooled me. I thought it was a morph of Pandora Peaks.
It didnt take long for me to jump on this beautiful womans bandwagon. I subscribed to her site for several years and she just kept getting bigger and bigger and even more desirable.
I doubt that Ill ever have a chance to meet her but a guy can dream.

[titzling319]

2010 Miosotis Claribel
Its sometimes hard to believe that a woman like this actually exists…pretty face…nice temperament…the most massive natural breasts one could conjure in the wildest of dreams.
Her sex videos are amazing. Oh, to be one of those lucky guys (and get paid for it). If money were no object, shed surely be one of the very few that Id go to great lengths to spent time with. You too?

[titzling319]

Chelsea Charms - Dec. 6th-8th, 2012 - Déjà Vu, Saginaw, MI
Déjà vu pitch: They say there are two types of men, ones who prefer butts, and those who prefer boobs. Well, if you are in the latter category Déjà Vu Showgirls in Saginaw is bringing it to you in spades...153XXX spades, that is! Thats right, the gigantic jigglers of Chelsea Charms are busting through (literally) the doors of the Vu and in your face! Now is your chance to get into the orbit of the worlds biggest breasts and drown in them titties as Chelsea performs nightly December 6th, 7th & 8th! It sure is going to be a merry Titmas season!

I made the trip to Saginaw on 12-6-2012. MapQuest projected a 77 mile trip / 1hr 20min. In reality: 72 miles / 1hr 15min

I got to Deja Vu at 9:03PM. Had a pleasant chat with the door man. Paid the $15 cover and entered (first time in a strip club in perhaps 10 years). Sat close to the stage. A beautiful Elf (one of Santa's Helpers) waited on me. I knew there was no alcohol as I'd been told that Chelsea's second act was at 2AM, not that I'd have been drinking. Either way, I figured I'd be drinking $7 Cokes. Was amazed to find that all drinks were free. I gave my Elf a $5 tip (which seemed to amaze her) then had to kill an hour or more watching some of the plainest, small breasted women that I've ever seen at a strip club. I saw finer women while sitting on a bench at the mall yesterday.
First show: Chelsea wore a Swiss Maid outfit (red c white flowers, white trim). After perhaps a minute, she picked me as her first conquest. She knelt in front of me, grabbed my head with both hands (at this point, I told her that I'd been dreaming of this since 1999!), pulled me into her monstrous cleavage and shook her breasts from side to side rather gently. My hands came up to the sides of those puppies and I got a double handful. After seeing over 10,000 photos and over 500 videos of Chelsea, I was still amazed at how big she was. I was also quite concerned that she may have gotten old and fat (like me). No such thing...she looked as young as she did 6 or 7 years ago and her tummy was back to fighting (and fucking) size. She took off the blouse and soon after that, the halter (The Hauler?). Her tits were huge and beautiful and Huge and HUGE! Guys were getting (bare) motor-boats for $1 so I put down a ten and got a long tit job. She started laying guys on the floor and giving them the full workout like in the Kama Sutra video for $5. I jumped on that opportunity (for another $10). She ended by throwing small posters to the loudest revelers...I won! It was a photo from the Paisley Halter PhotoClub set.
About 15 minutes after the show, Chelsea sat at a red velvet booth where she posed for Polaroids and sold stuff. After waiting for the small crowd to die down, I moseyed over to have my prize signed and to have a couple Polaroids taken ($10 each). I then mentioned that I wished that I had an hour to talk to her. She gave me a funny look and moved on to the next guy. Now I was feeling sorry for myself for being out-of-line and back at my seat I kept peeking over at her. Her customers died out and she sat there for quite a while, alone most of the time. I kept thinking, this is a perfect opportunity but I'm afraid of her reaction. I mean, there sat my all-time Dream Girl, naked, save for bikini bottoms, only about thirty feet away and I wanted to talk to her or just sit down and stare at her until she left.
Second show: After a seemingly endless ordeal of the same bunch of dancers plus an amateur night contest with four even worse girls, 2AM finally came around and Chelsea came out wearing the silver top she wore in the Kama Sutra video. Underneath was a yellow outfit (halter and skirt). This time she stripped totally nude (only wearing her famous gold waist chain). NOTE: she hasn't shown her snatch in photos since her first couple years in the business (1999-2000). I got a $5 motorboat and was planning on some sort of $10 job but she stopped the contact sports and started a new game. She had a tumbler with 8" 3-D cock on the side. Holding the cup between her breasts, she knelt down and had guys throw wadded up $5 bills at the cup. Those that holed the bills got posters. I didn't care to try as I already had one (not realizing that these were different from the first batch). I gave a fiver to my new buddy Anthony to try but he missed. When that died down she left the stage for good leaving a lot of us holding bills in expectation of more tit jobs.
Back on her velvet seat, Chelsea was again in business. I waited for the new crowd to disperse then thought I'd try my luck again. I came up with a new pose for another photo and then asked if she had a few minutes to talk. You'd have thought I was the President. The dancer Chelsea had been talking to just turned away and the bouncer/photographer pulled back the gold post holding the velvet rope to let me in the booth to sit by Chelsea. We talked for perhaps 30 minutes then some other guys came along to have their stuff signed. While she was taking care of them, I looked through her album of photos, mouse pads and magazines. She had the elusive March, 2000 Score (I had just seen a used copy online for $95) and a Buxotica, Score Special #59 I already had but didn't recognize (guess my mind was elsewhere). I was almost afraid to ask how much she was asking for the magazines but I had to know. Ten bucks - everything in the album was ten bucks. I bought both and asked if she had more with her but I already had the only one she had with her on this trip. She signed the mags (just her name). I hope that makes them more valuable...I know having a guy's name on the mag lowers the value.
Since the MC had mentioned that Chelsea would be available for Private Lapdances (Going rate at Deja Vu is $100 per half hour) I asked her about the possibility. She said her rate was two for $100, the two being two songs (I figured anywhere from 6 to 8 minutes which would range from $1000/hr to $750/hr, $750 being exactly what she charges for a one-hour Private Dance). I truly didn't think it through because I should have done it. I had the money in my pocket but couldn't pull the trigger. This turned out to be my only regret from the entire experience. Fortunately, she had mentioned that she would be in Lansing in February...I'll be there...with money for a dance or two! Note: Not one person had a dance with Chelsea the night I was there.
I thanked her for the lovely talk. I told her that someday I'd be healthier and would finally partake in a full hour Private Dance. We shook hands and I left.
Back home in Oxford, I licked my lips and thought I tasted lipstick (but, I hadn't kissed anyone). I then realized that it was her body lotion from that last tit job. I could still smell and taste her. If I only knew how to bottle it!

[zappfra]

Great story there Titzling, and sounds like you had a great rapport their with CC . I met Chelsea in 2005, and she was great, but I am still a way off that with my stories. 

I did notice in past experience, that if you sole intention is to be there to see the main dancer, they usually see that & are happy to converse with you, especially if some   " folding stuff" leaves your wallet. 

[titzling319]

2013 Chelsea Charms
Chelsea Charms – Jan. 31 – Feb. 2, 2013 - Déjà Vu, Ypsilanti, MI
1-31-2013
The weather's changed and all the lines are down, the things we do for love!
So... why am I writing in this journal when I'm scheduled to be driving to Ypsilanti?

The forecast said 30% chance of snow. Ha! By 8pm, we had an inch or two so I cleaned off my walk and car before I changed into my strip club duds (I spent $120 on a new shirt and pants yesterday). By 8:55, everything was covered again. A bad feeling was creeping up on me. I finally got rolling but could hardly see through the falling snow. After about a half a mile I said to myself, "Self, this is fucking insane!" I turned around and returned home. I may be a fan but I'm not a fanatic (I know, I know, they're the same word). Ypsi is about 55mi and an hour and a half away so, for once, I let the big head decide my future. CC will be there the next two nights not to mention next week in Lansing.

In a way, this may turn out better. I aim for Thursdays because I believe that it won't be as crowded. Deja Vu Saginaw was about 2/3 full which I found to be just about right. You do need a decent crowd to raise the excitement level and to motivate the dancers. I just don't want it so packed that I can't get near the stage (or Chelsea). At any rate, I called the joint last night to confirm the engagement and to get show times. At Saginaw, she danced at 10pm and 2am. In Ypsi her schedule is: Thursday 2 shows after 11pm (probably midnight and 2am), Friday 3 shows after 11pm, Saturday 3 shows after 11pm. Friday, I'll try again and aim for a 10pm arrival just in case. I should get to see three shows. The lady I talked to suggested that they would be at 12am, 1am & 2am. Seems quite hurried to me. My only concern is that there be enough time for my lap dance.

2-1-2013
Okie Dokie, here we go with stage two, the Deja Vu, Ypsilanti encouinter!
I head out for Ypsilanti at 8:43pm. The roads are clear and dry and I make great time until I missed the bend in Michigan Ave. near Ypsi and spend the next half hour lost. The street signs are all but invisible but I finally find the old theatre (by its old style marquee) at 9:43pm. I'm still there in plenty of time for shows that aren't supposed to start until after 11pm.
After parking in a nearby public lot, I stop in the 14° cold to take two photos of the Deja Vu marquee that boasts: "CHELSEA CHARMS - BIGGEST BREASTS - IN THE WORLD 181XXX - JAN 31 FEB 1-2".
Inside, I show my free passes (from the Saginaw branch) to the guy taking the cover and say, "I don't suppose these are any good." He agreed claiming "special feature". Well, the features don't come more special than Chelsea Charms so I gladly forked over the $20 (up $5 from Saginaw). He then fitted me with a shocking pink, hospital like wristband that was "Good for the night, you can come and go."
Passing through the "Love Boutique", a rather large sex shop with lots of toys, etc., I walked down a seemingly endless hallway to the club entrance where a doorman greeted me and showed me to a seat at the stage. I ordered a ginger ale (free) and tipped the waitress $5 and settled in for the ordeal until Chelsea made her appearance.
The building was old and the club was cheesy. The stage stood back from the rail that ringed it by a good three feet. The performer had to step down (maybe 10") from the stage, cross the gap then still had the 2' of table to deal with. A poor set-up.
As I guessed, the girls were a notch above those in Saginaw but still nothing to brag about. There was not one of the bunch that I would give a second look at if I saw her on the street. Since I was sitting at the stage I was more or less obligated to give each dancer a buck when she came begging at the start of her second song. Perhaps I should rethink this camping at the stage strategy and instead sit close by and move up when the feature comes on.
After an eternity of bad women and worse music, Chelsea took the stage about 11:15. Now billed as 181XXX, she looked great and even bigger than she was in Saginaw at a mere 153XXX. I didn't do the math then but in the light of a new dawn it figures that she is now claiming to be 71.26" or 5' 11" expanded from 60.24in or 5'¼'' I'm simply not buying that she is 11inches bigger in the 57 days it's been since I last saw her. Doesn't matter, she's still luscious!
First show: Dressed in a white (with red polkadots) sunsuit outfit, she danced for a minute or so to a recent version of “My Boy Lollypop.” Off came the top exposing a black halter. She then did her first round of motorboats, etc. Before Chelsea hit the stage there were only about 25 people in the club. When she began her act there were suddenly about 40 people there (many more had joined me at the rail) but still the place was only half full. After crossing the gap, Chelsea would raise one knee then the other and kneel on the table, very degrading not to mention murder on the knees (hard Formica table) and an outrageous amount of energy expended, pain endured and (in my opinion) shame swallowed for the singles they were giving her. I spent a five for my first contact...heavenly. She then held her cleavage open for me to insert the bill. Back on stage, she removed the skirt, quickly followed by her panties. Examining her entire body for a change, I noticed for the first time how much larger her legs are now than they were 14 years ago, much sturdier to support the rigors of hauling that glorious payload. However, she was moving too fast for me to have a chance to actually study the rarely seen Neverland between those legs. Now nude save for the famous gold chain, she was joined by the barker who handed her a fiver and laid down for the "floor massage). He then asked the crowd to pull out their fives and hop on stage with the dreamboat. Amazingly, I was the only taker. I made a fool of myself tripping on the way to the stage but finally made it. I laid down on my back and was nearly smothered...what a way to go! I failed at the "Win a poster!" yelling contest. and that was that.
After the requisite 15min wait, Chelsea reappeared with her stash and set up shop in the rear corner of the club. I only saw two guys get pics and  then a very big guy talking to her. After five minutes or so, I could see that this was going to continue for a while so I approached and asked for a Polaroid. They were now $20 (up from the $10 at Saginaw). After reminding her of Saginaw she said that she remembered me. I decided to just get one Polaroid and thought I'd go for broke and ask for t a specific pose (Me standing behind CC, both facing left, 45degree angle. Both hands full of breast!). She really didn't remember me, why should she, because she directed me toward the chair for the standard first pic shot of man in chair with Chelsea above, tits on/around head. I said I had already done that and asked for the pose that I wanted. She didn't flinch at all and succumbed to my charm. We took the pic and it turned out well though I forgot about the 45° angle. I then looked at her magazines while asking if we could talk. She said yes and I was thrilled. She only had three magazines this time (I was expecting to buy 7 or 8) and I bought them all. Buxotica, Score Special #59 / Score, June 2000 / Hustler's Best of Busty Beauties, Vol. 15. Another guy wanted a pic so I sat with the big guy and we talked boobs for 20min or so. Chelsea was busy again for a while. I'd turn every so often to check if she was free. Then I turned and she was gone. I was a bit pissed but realized with everything going on, she just forgot and didn't notice me sitting nearby with my back to her.
Second show: Back at the stage, I awaited act #2. At about 12:50am, they started saying that Chelsea would be back within the half hour and she reappeared at about 1:15am.  This time she wore the same silver top that she was wearing in the Kamasutra Strip video. It was covered by a gold-tinted brown cape with matching skirt and cap. She danced a while then stripped down to shorts and began a short round of mashing. I was able to get another pounding before she started her "cleavage cup" game. This time the game was played with ones (fives at Saginaw, go figure) and I tried four times and never came close, I was way short every time. I know, a dollar doesn't go as far...
She had absolutely no business taking place back in her corner so I tried again. This time she had the Score, March 2000 issue displayed so I grabbed it. She said, "Didn't you get one of these last time." (she did remember!) As she signed it I told her that it was a backup. I then looked through her DVDs and found the new Chelsea Charms New Zealand. I was very surprised when she told me that it was $20. She sells them online for $40. I then broached the "lap dance challenge".
Back in my seat, I resisted the temptation to keep peeking back in her corner. After ten minutes or so I looked...she was gone! Packed up and gone. I was crushed. Am I such a troll that she'd turn down $150? After about five minutes she reappeared. She posed for a few pictures with staff then looked my way and gave me the "come on" wave. I grabbed my jacket and goodie packet and headed toward adventure. I had wondered where the VIP Lounge with the private rooms was and now realized what that long hallway was all about. The VIP took up all that space (the boutique, VIP, then the club itself added up to the length of the small movie theatre that once was in operation here. There was a surprising amount of activity going on or so I sort of noticed in my periphery since I really only had eyes for the magnificent huge breasted Goddess who was leading me by the hand. We arrived at an upholstered booth about five feet wide. It was seven or eight feet to the back wall with a bench seat running the width of the back. No door or curtain!
I asked her what was I supposed to do. She said to just sit back and relax and she'd take care of everything...hands at my side, legs spread. I certainly did not like that hands at my side order! She had me confirm that I wanted 3 songs then started. Basically, the dance had two components. She rubbed, poked, mashed and massaged those golden globes into my stomach, chest and up into the bottom of my face. Then she would back off and briefly run through some of her sexiest poses before returning to contact. As wonderful as the touching was, it was just ungodly seeing those monsters posed only a foot away but also maddening not being able to grab them. At one point I asked, almost begged, to touch her with my hands. She turned and indicated the glowing red eye high above us and said the camera would catch it. I said, "We're being watched?" She nodded. I told her that I wanted a copy of the tape.
After about a song and a half, I asked where we stood. She surprised me by saying that we were just finishing the first. Earlier I had used a stop watch and the dancers songs averaged only about 2'40''. 2'40'' x 3 = 8min or $1125/hr...ouch! Sitting here composing this report the day after, I just now realize that there was no filler music, announcements, etc. in the VIP so they must have had the own set of longer, more appropriate, songs. After what was somewhere between 12 and 15 minutes, Chelsea stood up and with a sweet smile gave me the bad news, it was over. I handed her a hundred and a fifty. "I know that they get a cut of this but this is just for you" and gave her $30 more as a tip. She thanked me and gave me a big goodbye hug. I told her that I was never washing the shirt I had on.  As I was walking out I bumped into a bench and almost tripped again. A girl said that everyone hits that thing. Halfway turned, I saw Chelsea leading this really creepy guy back to the booth. Such is life!
I forsook the last act...I didn't see the night getting any better. An expensive night, $329 at Deja Vu. Was it worth it? I can't say it wasn't because I have some swag and a fantastic memory but...$329, Damn!

[titzling319]

Chelsea Charms - Feb. 8, 2013 - Déjà Vu, Lansing, MI
Round Three – 2-8-2013:
I decided to see Chelsea's shows in Lansing on Friday, Feb.8, 2013. I talked to the manager on Wed. and he claimed three shows a night however he didn't seem that sure and I didn't want to run into that Saginaw snafu of only two shows with four hours of drudgery between. I had spent about 3½ hours at 24th St. then back home for a short rest. I left the house at 8pm and arrived at DejaVu, Lansing at 9:32. The mileage was 90 on the nose. There was no marquee but the club was easy to find since it stands in the middle of nowhere.
The Lansing Déjà Vu was a beautiful new looking club with a huge private dance area and, in the rear, an interesting two story spiral staircase that disappeared into the ceiling. It looked familiar and I believe that several CC photosets had been shot there over the years.
There were lots of outstanding dancers working that night and it was quite difficult to keep turning down private dances but I had only one dancer on my mind.
CC came out in the red polka dot outfit with “My Boy Lollipop” playing. I got a nice face full of breasts for a $5 stage edge thrill. She went full nude again and finished with the “Buck–in-the-Cup” game.
After a break she came out for signings, etc. I waited until the line died down then approached her table. This was my third time seeing her in a mere 64 days but was still very happy when she said, “Hi, George. Nice to see you again. Did you ever wash that shirt?”:
Wow! She not only remembered my name but knew exactly who I was.
I bought her new DVD (“At Home with Chelsea”) and a couple more magazines (signed but without my name). It was almost Valentines day so I gave her a gift bag with a card, chocolates and a small bottle of her favorite perfume (Devine by Victorias Secret). I then summoned the nerve to ask if I could get a rate if I bought a series of Polaroids (normally $10 each). We settled at $5 apiece with me choosing the poses. I stopped after 18 photos because I was running out of ideas. We talked for about 15 minutes then she packed her stuff and went to her dressing room. Oddly enough, no one had requested a private dance.
Instead of waiting a couple of hours for the second show, I decided to call it a night and make the 1½ hour drive home. I guess I was spoiled by the frequency of Chelseas Michigan visits. Little did I know that now, seven years later, I havent seen her since that night. Bummer!